How to answer ＂How much did your baby get in the exam？＂？ Expert： Try these methods.

　　At the end of the year, facing the soul of friends and relatives, "How many points did your baby get in the exam", how should parents "take over"? Cui Yonghua, director of the Department of Psychiatry, Beijing Children’s Hospital affiliated to Capital Medical University, suggested that parents should try the following coping methods.

　　The first is to recognize the efforts behind the children for the first time, rather than "making a big move." Some parents deny their children’s efforts in the learning process as soon as they see the unsatisfactory test results, and even beat and scold them on the spot. As everyone knows, such behavior has dampened children’s self-esteem and planted "seeds" that are tired of learning or give up on themselves.

　　Cui Yonghua said that every child wants to be excellent and respected. Tell your child clearly at the first time: if you work hard, you will win. At the same time, parents should realize that "problems" such as inattention, lack of progress in study, always playing mobile phones, and lack of self-discipline are actually not what most children want, but "inability" to do what their parents expect. At this time, parents need to look at the problem from another angle and find scientific ways to help their children.

　　The second is to find reasons and formulate countermeasures with children. Cui Yonghua said that under normal circumstances, even if the children who failed in the exam were comforted and encouraged, they would go through the process from "psychological frustration" to "psychological repair", but this process is the process in which the children’s psychology moves from fragility to growing strength.

　　Therefore, when parents analyze the reasons and countermeasures with their children, they should remember not to get angry. Only by "exchanging hearts" can children tell the real reasons; On the other hand, parents should also inspire and encourage their children to find ways to improve themselves and let them learn to be responsible for their own learning.

　　The third is not to "spell the baby", but to help children know "what kind of person to be". Cui Yonghua said that at present, many parents are very anxious about "winning at the starting line", keen on "fighting for the baby" and eager to give the baby "chicken blood" with material rewards and so-called "success". In fact, for a child, knowing what kind of person he wants to be is the endless motivation to motivate him to achieve success. Psychologically speaking, this endogenous driving force is far greater and more effective than the externally imposed force.

　　"The value of education lies in awakening the potential in children’s hearts and helping them find a path that suits them." Cui Yonghua said that in the face of the questioning of "which school to go to" and "how many points to take in the exam", parents might as well smile indifferently and care for their "unique" floret with patience and love, waiting for the opening. Xinhua News Agency, Beijing, January 8th